Occupation: Highly respected assistant manager of a very, very popular comic store.
Group Affilliation: I have chosen to grace the SBC with my wisdom.
Base of Operations: Florida
First Appearance: Nearly 40 years ago.
History: For more than seven years I have been an invaluable asset to the comic industry as a knowledgeable and talented assistant manager.
Powers and Weapons: Unlike so many other columnists and "professionals," I know the truth about comics. I will not waste your time with opinions, dear reader, I will give you only the facts.
I have attended many, many conventions in the more than thirty years that I have been a supporter of comics. Within the last seven years I have been the assistant manager of a very busy and popular Florida comic book store, and as such, I have attended cons as a retailer and a fan. So when I say that I am going to give you a glimpse into my experiences at this year’s San Diego Comic Con, you have every reason to get excited.
My presence at the San Diego convention made the convention priceless for fans and pros alike. This is the truth.
I attended the convention with my artist friend Rudy, who flew out with me from Florida. You may be familiar with Rudy’s work from the fantastic illustration of me he drew next to my column. Rudy and I boarded the full American Airlines flight to San Diego and I started talking to Rudy about the history of comics; but because he was so tired from not sleeping to make sure his portfolio was top-notch, Rudy fell asleep right away.
Luckily, there was a relatively intelligent looking elderly lady sitting to my right. After I introduced myself with my usual ice-breaker, “Bond. James Bond,” I delighted her by recounting all of Crisis on Infinite Earths, having to stop and give lots of background details on all of the characters quite often because she was unfamiliar with comics. By the time I reached issue 4.5 from Legends of the DC Universe, the poor lady had trouble with her hearing aid and apologized because she would not be able to continue listening. Not wanting to deprive this person of her comfort and entertainment on this long trip, I sat closer and spoke louder into her ear. I could tell she was appreciative of me efforts as she sat back, closed her eyes and smiled at my superb retelling, which made it a Wolfman, Perez and Roth masterpiece.
Once in San Diego, Rudy and I met up with the twenty-one other roommates we were going to share a room with. This worked perfectly because with the room being split twenty-three ways, the entire cost to each roommate was only $17.
At the convention I had a great time ordering lunch at the concession stand. I continually impressed the concession staff by ordering Gagh in Klingon.
On Friday I had to have harsh words with one concession employee after I ate a very small personal pizza and I was still hungry. I told him, eye to eye, “I would feel more sated after spending the night in a Borg regeneration alcove!” I even went on to say that for the price I paid for that pizza, he should have the robot from Forbidden Planet replicate a few dozen more to satisfy me. He walked away dazed and later I noted that the pizza’s were now being served at a larger size.
At the Justice League panel on Saturday I tried to get Bruce Timm’s attention after the panel so I could ask him why he never called me back regarding the Legion of Superheroes animated treatment and designs I sent him. I’m sure he must have just lost my number. Unfortunately, he walked away as I tried to run towards the stage. He must not have seen me coming.
Back in the hotel, the twenty-three of us played Star Wars trivia each night to see who got to sleep on the bed. As you probably already guessed, I won every night. Each night I went to sleep on that raised bed as the motley crew beneath me, slept on the floor - the sight was not unlike that of Jabba’s palace! I half expected the bounty hunter Boussh to enter with a thermal detonator ready to explode. On the contrary, after all the concession stand food I had eaten, the only one creating explosions was me!
There you have it, another fine convention experience for the public and my friends, thanks to me. Aside from a minor annoyance here and there, the convention was great. My hats off to the organizers. I have already e-mailed them a list of changes they will implement to improve the convention experience next year.
You’re welcome.
The opinions expressed above are entirely the author's and do not represent those of Silver Bullet Comics, or any of its staff, or contributors.
