Occupation: Highly respected assistant manager of a very, very popular comic store.
Group Affilliation: I have chosen to grace the SBC with my wisdom.
Base of Operations: Florida
First Appearance: Nearly 40 years ago.
History: For more than seven years I have been an invaluable asset to the comic industry as a knowledgeable and talented assistant manager.
Powers and Weapons: Unlike so many other columnists and "professionals," I know the truth about comics. I will not waste your time with opinions, dear reader, I will give you only the facts.
I have attended dozens of conventions in my more than thirty-year relationship with comics. I have worked both sides of the table, as a noble retailer in the trenches and as the valiant fan, scouring convention aisles. Do not hesitate to assume that I am a professional when it comes to conventions.
Sadly the average conventioneer is little more than a moron and does not know how to achieve the true convention experience. This is the truth!
Rather than scurrying off at the recognition that you are squarely the average convention attendee, read on, and learn the truth. I’m here to help with a top ten list of what to do and what not to do at a convention. These are time-tested tips from a master. Heed them and be rewarded. The Ancient One’s got nothing on me…
10.Pay attention to convention badges! By keeping a sharp eye on every badge that passes you, you may be able to have some one-on-one time with your favorite creator. I find this technique works best outside the men’s room. I got the load on the JLA/Avengers crossover, during a load.
9.Pass out photocopies of needed back issues to dealers. Bring a stack and make your way through the convention hall, making sure to drop one off with each retailer. You may want to drop some off with some publishers, as they have extra helpers who may be bored throughout the day. Then you can check back on the progress of your list fulfillment…at your leisure.
8.Know which creators and editors are going to attend. Bring the least flattering works of those creators and editors so that you can defend yourself during a portfolio review. I recommend pointing out the errors in their work before they look at yours, that way, they know you know what you’re talking about.
7.Speak as much as possible using only lines from your favorite comics. Comic conventions are a wild romp through the multiverse of fandom, don’t limit your vocabulary to only that of present day Earth.
6.Bring a box of comics and set-up a roaming comic stand, underbidding the dealers. You can also bring original art, sketches, toys and even your own art. I suggest putting all of this in a rolling suitcase so that you can find a dealer who has an item you brought, then unzip your bag and proclaim that you have the same item for $5, even $10 less!
5.Autograph limits are for fools. If a limit is enforced, do whatever you must to get as many as possible of whatever item you want the creator to sign, signed. I find that slipping six or seven comics into a golden age bag can make it seem that you only have one or two comics. You can get golden age comic sized bags at your better comic shops.
4.Don’t get tongue tied in front of your favorite creator. Ask him the how and why’s of everything you ever wanted to know, even if it is not from something they have worked on; odds are they know a lot more about it than you. I once had a wonderful conversation with Yvonne Craig about sub-space frequencies, until she had to go because of sudden stomach cramps. She’s such a frail thing.
3.Don’t take no for an answer! If you ask for a sketch and the artist says no, he just wants you to ask him again. The creator is asking for a little flattery, give them what they want, and they will give you what you want.
2.Speak up at panels! You can always ask your questions and assert yourself as the alpha-fan if you shout out your questions at panels a few minutes before they begin their question and answer session. Why raise your hand when you can raise your voice?
1.Always be in costume! Notice that this is the #1 tip. Never walk through the hallowed halls of a convention without being in costume. A special note is necessary here; girls should not dress in costume. It’s embarrassing to see them try to live up to the idealistic figures found in comics. Boys, though, have a wide array of choices and should try to wear as many different costumes as possible. I once wore a Modok costume that doubled as Space Knight armor for my Rom costume.
There, now you have the knowledge to have a true convention experience. Before I depart, I have a bit of good news for you, reader. As a special bonus, you can expect a The Truth About Comics special report from this year’s San Diego Comic-Con.
It’s true. The waiting is the hardest part…
The opinions expressed above are entirely the author's and do not represent those of Silver Bullet Comics, or any of its staff, or contributors.
