Occupation: Highly respected assistant manager of a very, very popular comic store.
Group Affilliation: I have chosen to grace the SBC with my wisdom.
Base of Operations: Florida
First Appearance: Nearly 40 years ago.
History: For more than seven years I have been an invaluable asset to the comic industry as a knowledgeable and talented assistant manager.
Powers and Weapons: Unlike so many other columnists and "professionals," I know the truth about comics. I will not waste your time with opinions, dear reader, I will give you only the facts.
As a reader of comics for more than three decades, and the assistant manager of a very profitable and busy comic shop in Florida, I have had the chance to experience the admiration of those beneath me. In my respected perch at the store, I have seen the symbiotic relation between the lofty service provider and the lowly service seeker. Believe me when I say: I know how a valued asset is to be treated. Consider my rich background and know that I am an expert in the arena of giving and receiving respect.
The readers of this fine column have not treated me with the respect I so sorely deserve. This is the truth.
I have been stabbed in the back so many, many times by the readers of this website. There have been attacks on me from every angle and from nearly every member of the SBC community. For this reason this will be my final column.
The girls came first. An outpouring of furious feminism befell me shortly after my first column debuted. They tried to tear me apart with their shrill arguments. There were a tiny few, who understood the truth; but virtually every last female who read my first column reacted with spite and hatred at the sole voice of reason on the internet. For this reason; this will be my final column.
Once the girls backed off; then the attacks came from those who did not believe I was real. These cowards tried to erase me from reality with their wrong-headed accusations. “Hal Roth is fake,” became a hallmark in the Truth About Hal message boards. My wisdom is a single candle of intelligence burning in the dark void that is the internet, and these non-believers tried to snuff it out. For this reason; this will be my final column.
The most insidious attack that I have suffered in the name of preaching the truth has been from those who have doubted my voice. Week after week, I have given you, the reader, the truth about comics; and I have been repaid with snide comments and idiotic contradictions. To those who would doubt my truths: you won’t have them to doubt any longer. For this reason; this will be my final column.
So, with the same steadfast voice of logic that I began this column; I end it. A mighty giant succumbs to the will of dwarves. There will be no more truths to be found on this website or any other. You brought this upon yourselves. Soon enough you will realize the folly of your ways. What will you do when you check back next week and find that this column no longer exists? You will cry at first. Tears of sadness at the result of your myopic complaints. Then new tears will come. Tears of anger at the loss you have cursed yourself with because of your own hubris.
This is the last column I will ever write.
Are you happy?
You’ve won. All of you with your attacks, you girls and non-believers and doubters; you’ve won.
I have let you win.
I have let you silence the truth. I have let you put an end to my altruistic goals. I have let you destroy me.
Yet, how can I allow this?
All my life I have stood up to those who do not appreciate what is right and true. How can I allow a mere army of dissenting voices drag me down to their level?
I can’t!
You have not won, you…you monsters!
The Truth About Comics will not lay down and die! The Truth About Comics will fight, tooth and nail, until there is no longer breath within my heaving chest. You have not won. You have not beat me.
The Truth About Comics lives!
The opinions expressed above are entirely the author's and do not represent those of Silver Bullet Comics, or any of its staff, or contributors.
