The Vampire Diaries 5.07 “Death and the Maiden”

A tv review article by: Shawn Hill

Everyone gets what they wanted this episode. Which only makes you realize how messed up their desires have always been.

First the good news: Elena and Caroline get their best friend and college roomie, Bonnie, back in the land of the living. Sure, she's a resurrected witch who's lost her entire family over the course of this show, and Elena and Caroline are both immortal vampires now, but high school cheerleader bonds, those last a lifetime!

Also, Jeremy gets Bonnie back in the flesh, and being dead seems to have given her a new perspective over the whole "I See Dead Girlfriends" thing of his that was such a problem in the past. There is, of course, a catch for Bonnie, but we'll save the dire consequences for later.

Stefan gets to kill his tormenter, Silas. In order to drive out his demons of a summer spent drowning. Only it doesn't quite – no, wait just a bit. Damon gets to cluck over everyone like the weirdest of all mother hens, desperately fighting to bring Bonnie back for Elena and Jeremy,  to give Tessa her fantasy of keeping Amara and Silas apart, even to keep Amara from killing herself before her time.

Amara, mind-ravaged over being the Anchor for the Other Side (the special supernatural limbo for the non-human created by Tessa so long ago), gets her wish to die, at last. It's almost noble, especially as she does it with the knife that ended Silas before her eyes as well. He was crafty fun, but 2000 years of sparring with Qetsiyah can sour a man irrevocably.

About the only person who doesn't get what she wants is Katherine, who is enlisting all and sundry to help her not die now that she's a "cured" human who also lacks the cure for being human. All and sundry think five centuries is plenty for even someone as cute as she. I suppose Nadia also fails to get what she wants, as Katherine seems to nobly be cutting off her just reunited daughter in order to spare her the impending rapid decline now looming for mom. Or something, Katherine's motivations get really confusing when they're anything other than Machiavellian.

Amara learns her lesson about stealing another woman's man, and apologizes. Tessa learns her lesson about mixing up mortality with the divine, and expires. Silas learns that waiting two millennia to reunite with his stolen love is a little bit too long.

Now for the bad news: Stefan learns that vengeance won't treat post traumatic stress disorder. Bonnie learns that being alive hurts, especially if all supernatural beings get to call you to their death pangs. Damon learns that he can't save everybody, whether for their own good or his own. Which he already knew, but he's been pretending to forget because he's finally got the hottest doppelganger of all to wake up to most mornings.

Wow, that was a real clearing of the decks. Seems like TPTB really want to get back to The Curse of the Campus Vampire mystery. Fans have been likening this season to Buffy's 4th (when that gang went to college -- go Class of 2003!), but it's more like distant echoes of the whole series. Seems like Spike and Dru (Silas and Tessa) were just the little bads after all, when we really should have been worrying about Faith and the Mayor all along.

Katherine, of course, has always been this show's Faith. She gets all the most biting lines, she's hiding a world of fear and insecurity, and she's even finally on a mini-redemption arc. The Mayor, I presume, will be the so far unseen Augustine Vampire. Let's hope they pulled out the big budget for the casting call.

Shawn Hill knows two things: comics and art history. Find his art at

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