TAG TEAM ADVANCE REVIEW: Crawl to Me #1

A comic review article by: Karyn Pinter & Felicity Gustafson
ADVANCE REVIEW! Crawl to Me #1 will come out on July 13, 2011.

Karyn Pinter: I thought it wasn't that good.

Felicity Gustafson: I wasn't ecstatic about it, but it was only the opening act, so to speak.

Karyn: It was a comic about psychedelic child abuse.

Felicity: It's supposed to be a horror comic, but up until the part with the monster in the dog's mouth, I didn't really see it.

Karyn: Was it a monster? I thought it was some kind of ferret.

Felicity: It was a demonic ferret, clearly. Actually, I couldn't tell for sure what it was. I was suspecting it was a monster. For all I know, it could've been Bugs Bunny. Sexual abuse is revolting, but I don't really think it fits into a horror comic that's supposed to be about monsters or ghosts.

Karyn: Starting off with child abuse just turned me off completely. I've read some crazy shit, but this was the first time I was turned off.

Felicity: Believe it or not, I wasn't sure at the beginning if it was even child abuse. I didn't really understand what was going on until the belt buckle part. Then I was turned off.

Karyn: Bleh, uncool points.



Felicity: When I first read the summary, I thought it was either going to be demonic possession or monsters. The half-eaten animals made me think monsters. I didn't even guess that 75% of the first issue would involve a creepy pedophile. It did seem very psychedelic, so it might be one of those stories that's completely in his head.

Karyn: True. The main character, Ryan, seems to have some issues. It could be a total St. Elsewhere mindfuck. If I had to say something nice about the comic, it reminded me a bit of Stephen King.

Felicity: I loved the artwork. It was the perfect type of horror art that's all scratchy and centers in on the action. I wasn't so sure about the color scheme -- it was kind of like Ben Templesmith meets My Little Pony or Care Bears.

Karyn: For the record, I want to see Templesmith draw My Little Pony.

I liked the colors. Obviously those are what jump out at you first. The artwork itself I thought was okay. I'm not a huge fan of Photoshop in comics. To me it's the lazy way out. I also liked that the characters had no eyes. It gave it a really creepy effect.

Felicity: The lack of eyes was a nice effect. Kind of gave that sense of staring into the deep unknown. I was pretty happy to find out that Menton J. Matthews III did a cover for this though. I might buy that variant just for the cover since I'm in love with his work.

Karyn: So do you know who Alan Robert is? I'm going to catch a lot of shit for not knowing. I've heard of Wire Hangers but never read it.

Felicity: I haven't actually heard of his band, Life of Agony, but I might look it up now that I know about it.

Karyn: Maybe that was the whole point, get people to check out the band? Because the comic was lacking. Then again I'm a notorious hater of horror comics.

Felicity: I love horror comics, but with there being so many, I can afford to be picky. I wanted read Wire Hangers, but I hadn't had the opportunity yet. I was going to get my local comic shop to order it. It's supposed to be made into a movie. Out of all the publicity I saw, only half was about the comic, the other half was about Wire Hangers or the band.

When I first heard about this one, I was psyched about it. I really wanted to read it. Now I'm not so sure, but I'm unwilling to condemn based on a slow start.

Karyn: I am.



Felicity: I'll read the second one, but if it doesn't pick up, I probably won't continue. Maybe the second one'll actually be about something other than child abuse.

Karyn: Maybe. I usually give any comic a three-issue chance, but I don't know if I could stomach anymore of Crawl to Me.

Felicity: It just lacked... something. Maybe suspense? After the child abuse thing, I'm not really sure I want to know about the mystery. It wasn't the worst thing I've read by far, but it needs a lot of work.

Karyn: What hurt this the most was 1) child abuse, which is never entertaining and 2) nothing happened. Nothing was established, there weren't even any good questions that popped up to be answered.

Felicity: Demonic ferret?

Karyn: I couldn't even tell what it was. It could have been a shoe.

Felicity: I couldn't either, but now I'm stuck on demonic ferret. Maybe it was a jackalope. I think it was supposed to just be one of the half-eaten animals. Maybe what it was wasn't even important. It was the only part of the story I liked though, so I'm clinging to it.

Karyn: Were there other half-eaten animals? I'm going over the comic right now, I don’t see any.

Felicity: No, there wasn't. I just know about that because I read it in the summary:

"Crawl to Me takes place in an isolated country town during the frigid winter months. The story centers on a young family as they cope with a series of disturbing events that force them to question their relationship, their faith and their very existence. When husband and wife, Ryan and Jessica, move into their first home together, strange things occur. Half-eaten animals and other remains are found inside the basement's crawl space. The family dog disappears within the house. Distant voices and singing are heard from beneath the floorboards. The couple begins to think that an evil entity is living inside their walls. Nothing can prepare them for what they'll discover, and Ryan and Jessica soon realize that they must set aside all they believe to be real, in order to face the inevitable truth."


See? From that description, I would love this story.

Karyn: So what the hell does the first issue have to do with any of that?

Felicity: Exactly. That's why I was disappointed.

Karyn: It sounds like all of it is inside Ryan's head because he's got serious issues.

Felicity: Probably taking some kind of medication.

Karyn: Bah.



Felicity: I don't know. Like I said, I'll give it until #2.

Karyn: Well, I'll read your copy because I won't spend the money.

Felicity: If one of my favorite artists does the cover, I'll buy it.

Karyn: If he wants a comic to sell he should be more Templesmith.

Felicity: I honestly didn't think the art was that bad.

Karyn: The art was okay. Story-wise not so great. All we learn is that Ryan's got issues related to his past and his takes pill to suppress it. And a bunch of cops die.

Felicity: Did the cops really die though? Or was he imagining it like the belt buckle dude? Or was that real? I'm not even sure what happened!

Karyn: See, we don't know.

Felicity: Bah.

Karyn: Mindfuck I tells ya.

Felicity: I'm betting at the end he'll be in a straight jacket and none of it'll be real.

Karyn: Snow globe!

THE BIG SCORE

Karyn:Cover Image: http://www.comicsbulletin.com/main/sites/default/files/reviews/images/2bullets_inline.gif">

Felicity:Cover Image: http://www.comicsbulletin.com/main/sites/default/files/reviews/images/3bullets_inline.gif">



Felicity Gustafson was born in Ohio and, after the astounding realization that there was more to do than look at trees and cows, she decided to become a nerd and got into comics, anime and video games. New to Comics Bulletin, she sticks mostly to reviewing things out of the horror and comedy genres. She spends most of her time working in the manufacturing industry, finishing her computer degree and steadfastly avoiding ham fat at all costs.

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