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The Boys #12

Posted: Tuesday, November 27, 2007
By: Jon Judy



“Glorious Five Year Plan” (part 2)

Writer: Garth Ennis
Artist(s): Darick Robertson, Rodney Ramos

Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment


“There seem to be two Garth Ennises. Ennises. Ennisi. Whatever… there are two Garths.

“Garth #1 is Garth at his best; he offers up biting social commentary disguised as dick jokes.

“Garth #2 is Garth not at his best; he offers up dick jokes disguised as biting social commentary.” – Some douchebag in a review of Wormwood #6

What did that loser know? There are actually three Garth Enniseseses, and number three doesn’t even pretend his dick jokes have any redeeming social value.

The Boys #12 has been brought to you by Garth number three.

First, the bad: Nothing really happens in this issue. Hughie and Billy stumble upon a massive menagerie of mega…ummm…damn. Can’t keep the alliteration going. How did Stan Lee do it? Anyhoo, they happen upon a whole heap of hazardous…ummm…hoodlums, who have…horrible…

GAH! That’s hard! Seriously, have you ever tried it? It’s tough.

So they find a whole bunch of bad guys and realize the scope of the plan they are up against. Meanwhile, Little Nina meets with a smooth weapons-dealer-type who is developing a serum for her to give aforementioned supervillains supervillainy powers without blowing them up real good.

And…cut.

Seriously, that’s all that happens. Oh, and Nina pleasures herself with a gigantic vibrator, but we don’t actually see that, we just hear running commentary about it from smooth-weapons-dealer guy’s henchmen. See? Garth #3 is a kinder, gentler Garth. Garths #1 and #2 would have you seeing right up to that chick’s kidneys. The whole thing puts me in mind of my ex-best friend. I have some doozy stories I could share about her, and I have a feeling they would boost my readership, but in the spirit of Garth #3, I too shall exercise restraint.

Beyond that, you get the usual Ennis violence and humor. You either like it or you don’t, so why would you even read this review?

For what it’s worth, I like it, and this below-average issue of The Boys is still an above-average comic book.

“Hey, Ennis at less than his best is better than most of the rest.” – that douchebag again.

Whatdoyaknow? Guess that loser did know what he was talking about.



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