Writer: Tony Bedard & Mark Waid Artists: Barry Kitson (layouts), Adam DeKraker(full pencils), Rob Stull & Rodney Ramos(i) Publisher: DC
"...my point is her e-mag profile isn't like anyone else's. Maybe it's because she's displaced in time. Perhaps there's some residual radiation from the accident that sent her here. Either one's gotta play havoc with your basic Newtonian forces."--Lyle Norg, Invisible Kid--Scientist
::::Sigh:::: This will be my last issue of Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes.
Electromagnetism isn't described by Newtonian principles. Electromagnetism is described by quantum theory. It's always bad to have a book set in a future with a bunch of dopes masquerading as scientists that haven't an inkling about science. Futurama maintained better comprehension of advanced scientific principles, and it wasn't even a drama.
Waid and Bedard for Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes cannot even keep up with basic scientific advancements first discovered at the sunset of the nineteenth century. Worse, they can't be bothered to take ten minutes to look up the information on that wacky new invention called the Internet. Oh, and by the way Mr. Harvey Richards and Mr. Stephen Wacker, if the writer makes a mistake like this, editors are supposed to catch the mistakes, do the research the writer was too lazy to do and/or remind the writer to make sure his facts are straight. Readers pay for these comic books, and readers deserve the best the talent is able to muster.
All right. Let's push that blunder aside and focus on the plot. It's not much of one. Shadow Lass is afraid Supergirl intends to steal Ultraboy, her current beau. Cosmic Boy thinks he's in love with Supergirl. Invisible Kid knows he's in love with Supergirl, and Karate Kid just wants everybody to get along. Meanwhile, Michael is in love with Susan who's in love with Amy who's in love with Michael, and Fenton would like both Amy and Michael. Fenton's former lover Lily lies in the hospital watched over by the handsome Doctor Joe, who lost his eye in a mysterious accident involving the death of Susan's twin sister Sarah. Of course, this may explain how Susan got her desperately needed liver transplant. Will Doctor Joe ever reveal his true feelings for Susan? Somebody forgot to tell Bedard and Waid that they're not supposed to be writing a soap opera with scifi trappings. They're supposed to be writing a space opera starring super-heroes.
The subplot while pedestrian at least takes us out of Day Time Emmy Land. The Dominators in an unlikely but not impossible move have created a hulked-out version of one of their own. Whether or not you buy into this somewhat betrayal of Dominator culture, the jaundiced beastie does give the reader hope that this entire Legion of Super-Heroes is a sham:
"IMPOSTORRRRS!! You ARRRE NOT the Legion!"
It's always bad when you're invested in super-heroes yet agreeing with the super-villain. I couldn't have said it better myself. This is not the Legion, and I'd as well dispute calling them super-heroes.
Let me count the ways that Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes sucks. First, there's Shadow Lass, once one of my favorite Legionnaires, whom we learn "communicates physically." So, why then is she talking? I would interpret "communicating physically" as using some form of sign language. Now, it's true that she could just be making a metaphor about the kiss she shares with Karate Kid in the One Year Earlier flashback, but the whole conversation leaves me in doubt:
"I'd like to communicate for once!" "Where I come from this is how we communicate--physically. I've explained that a thousand times."
Uh, huh. This makes no sense. She's communicating through her voice. Presumably her people do the same. So why on Talok VIII would she say "where I come from this is how we communicate--physically." When Starfire, in The New Teen Titans, absorbed the English language from Robin, he was suitably dumbounded. She explained "Physical contact, Robin." She also noted that she didn't have to kiss him, but it was the fun way to engage in her race's special brand of telepathy. That made sense. The dialogue matched her actions. Shadow Lass' dialogue defeats its own purpose. I really shouldn't complain. The dialogue takes place in one of the only three violent scenes in the book; I'm discounting the punch in the nose one character receives. Karate Kid and Shadow Lass beat the snot out of a bunch of Khunds. It's gratuitous violence, lacks energy and not as fun as it should be, but at this final point I'll take what I can get.
The second scene of violence takes place against the aforementioned steroid-enriched Dominator. Sun Boy--who looks more like crewcut lad--tries to fricassee the big galoot, and this scene packs more punch largely because of Nathan Eyring's fiery colors. Fire and explosions are almost always interesting. It really takes a ham-fist to make them uninteresting. They can be tiring if done in succession, but blowing something up or incinerating that something usually acts as tonic.
The third scene of violence involves Supergirl. Supergirl takes a blast of radiation to the chest and just smiles, while uttering the classic line: "It tickles." If a Superman Family fan ever tires of bullets, ray blasts or massive amounts of debris bouncing off of each member's bodies, then that fan should simply stop reading comics.
Because Supergirl is in more than one scene this issue, Bedard and Waid have more opportunity to work with her. Naturally, they characterize her flawlessly. She's nice, intelligent, strong and altruistic. These aspects have always comprised the main part of Supergirl's personality.
The rest of the Legion, when given one-dimensional personalities, act like self-serving sphincters--except Karate Kid; I'll give the writers that one. They behave nothing like their past incarnations, and they haven't anything apart from superficiality to distinguish them. Ultra Boy is the lunk-head. Shadow Lass is the one afflicted with p.m.s. Karate Kid is the levelheaded one. Invisible Kid is the stupid one. Cosmic Boy--um--flies. Light Lass--um--flies.
You may have noticed the dance partners have changed, but that's really nothing new. The Legionnaires did not always stick with whom they were originally paired. Lightning Lass for instance dropped Timber Wolf, came out of the closet and started a relationship with Shrinking Violet, who was once involved with Duplicate Boy, not a Legionnaire. That's right, Virginia. There were lesbian super-heroes before Batwoman. In another incarnation, Lightning Lass was paired up with Chameleon, while subtext seemed to flow between Kinetex and Shrinking Violet. That's not a huge problem. It's certainly odd though to see some of these Legionnaires together, but some build up would have been nice. Incidentally, all of these pairings and matings occurred as subplots while the Legion were off fighting the Fatal Five or combining forces to take down the Dark Circle. They rarely took center stage, and often the relationships motivated exciting plots. Princess Projectra for instance killed the being who murdered her lover Karate Kid.
The art to this issue of Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes is just shy of decent but definitely above piss-poor. Barry Kitson is now relegated to only doing breakdowns. So much of the understated vitality in his art is gone thanks to--we're finally being honest about it are we--penciler Adam DeKraker. DeKraker's art rather amuses. Not because it provides visual comedy like that in Nextwave: Agents of Hate. The art amuses because DeKraker now faces karmic payback from his inking team. DeKraker mucked up Barry Kitson's pencils, and Rob Stull and Rodney Ramos turn DeKraker's work into a mired up mess. Good job.
I'm really sorry to drop Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes. This was the only place one could find a decent version of Supergirl. This was the only place Supergirl actually maintained the proportions of a human being. Her moments though in each issue are few and far between, and to paraphrase Crow T. Robot, no matter how much DC insists that Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes is a Legion book, I must respectfully disagree.
