What Th' By Park Cooper and Barb Lien, Staff Writers 11:43 AM me: New bit for my column:
11:44 AM Josh (Wagner): ??
11:45 AM me: So I read somewhere that the original conception might have been that MJ isn't DOING the laundry in that bucket... HE's been doing it, as he always does, by hand (because you can't take your spidey suit to the laundromat, or even use the washer/dryer at aunt may's house if she's home)...
http://www.sideshowtoy.com/mas_assets/jpg/6818_press12-001.jpg
and recently barb bought me THE ESSENTIAL SPIDER-MAN VOLUME 3 from half-price
11:46 AM so I started with this idea that that pose isn't for DOING laundry (because who poses like that to do laundry?), but rather she's happened to spot the costume in the bucket and is holding it up to us, breaking the 4th wall, as if to say "look, isn't this precious, he hand-washes it"
11:48 AM But it led to me doing this bit just now in the car to Barb... one of these guys with super-senses like Kraven the Hunter is out prowling around Manhattan rooftops... suddenly he stops and sniffs -- ">sniff sniff< -- All-Temperature Cheer! SPIDER-MAN is somewhere nearby!!!"
Which cracked her up and she died laughing
11:49 AM Josh: so she’s dead now?
me: oh shut up and laugh you know it's hilarious
me: Daredevil must experience the whole world that way-- "Old Spice deodorant, gunpowder, and Tide-- THE PUNISHER's been here!!!"
Josh: HA! you know, that's probably true...
11:50 AM Josh: Sorry, Daredevil was the clincher
you could do like "the private journals of daredevil"
that really gets into his thoughts and experiences
although i don't see it in comic form... i'd do it in a novella
like 'notes from the underground'
11:51 AM but that's because i'm insane
me: It's just that in Essential Spidey Vol 3 even Ka-Zar of the Savage Land (and Zabu the wonder kitty) can track Peter by his spoor... and I'm like "Now it makes sense! It's the All-Temperature Cheer!"
Josh: i think it would make a great comic
haha! totally
his spore... what is he a mushroom?!
no, it's the fabric softener!
11:52 AM me: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/spoor
Josh: wow
that's the most circularly useless wiki article i've ever seen
Josh: i totally endorse you doing a daredevil script like that, though
11:53 AM me: "Hm, I'd know that Summer Breeze Bounce anywhere... but why would the Fantastic Four be in Hell's Kitchen tonight?!?"
me: sorry, you talk about Ka-Zar of the Savage Land, you gotta talk like Stan writes him
For that matter...
Can Daredevil... you know... tell when women are... you know...?
11:54 AM Josh: undoubtedly
me: No WONDER Foggy hangs out with a blind guy... he's got "Available Radar"
Josh: clever sob
me: "Okay, there's a hot couple of chicks at 3:00... a blond and a brunette..."
11:55 AM "No dice, Foggy... they both reek of aftershave."
Josh: HAHA! brilliant
me: "Already taken, eh? How about the Latina and her friend at 11:00? They're hot."
">sniff sniff< ...They're... seeing each other, Foggy."
11:56 AM "WHA?! How can you -- no, I don't want to know. It makes me cry."
Josh: heh...
me: "Wait Foggy! Who just came in the door? Are they hot? They smell hot-- and looking for some action!"
11:57 AM "Matt, my man, this is why we're partners. Let's get over there."
11:58 AM Josh: the kids would eat this stuff up
if only they could read
me: Yeah well that's why we need artists
I see Darwyn Cooke doing it… or would it be Steve Rude?
Josh: i'm sure you could hook someone good with that script
Josh: nail the copyright on the notion
12:00 PM me: Gonna run it in the column… briefly...
12:01 PM me: We've been watching old Martin and Lewis on DVD... the Colgate Comedy Hour...
Barb's written this little old-fashioned Woolite-type commercial with MJ
12:02 PM "Ladies! Does your hubby still hand-wash his... "unmentionables?"
Hmm, that's also my new superhero team: THE UNMENTIONABLES
Josh: LOL
12:04 PM me: Here I am entertaining you for 15 mins and you get your biggest laugh from The Unmentionables
Announcer: Mary Jane Watson-Parker for new Ultimate Detergent!
MJ: Ladies, has this ever happened to you? You find your superhero husband's unmentionables stuffed in a bucket under the sink because he still hand-washes them?
MJ holds up Spidey costume in a bucket.
MJ: Sweet but old fashioned, don't you think?
MJ walks over to the washing machine with Spidey costume.
MJ: Time to get Tiger out of the 1960s and into the 21st century.
MJ puts the uniform into the laundry.
MJ: Now, where'd I put that new Ultimate Laundry Detergent for Delicates?
She holds up the bottle and smiles a cheesy smile.
MJ: When your laundry seriously needs a reboot, try Ultimate Detergent, the amazing and spectacular new soap for superheroes!
MJ pours the detergent into the laundry.
MJ: Ultimate Detergent is strong enough for Iron Man's skivvies, but gentle enough for a superhero's wife's thong! All within seconds, too!
The washer is on.
MJ: The secret? Ultimate Detergent is powered with Gamma Rays! Yes, Gamma Rays, the green wonder ingredient that does wonders for your costume.
SFX: Ding
MJ: Let's see how the costume came out!
MJ holds it up. It's full of holes.
MJ: Eep!
MJ: I wonder if that black-and-white costume's still lying around anywhere?
Announcer: Ultimate Detergent! Treat your stains like you would Doc Ock!
“Available Radar” copyright Wicker Man Studios, 2007
Ultimate Detergent skit writer: Barb Lien-Cooper
Josh Wagner is the creator of Fiction Clemens and appears courtesy of Impossible Clock Productions LLC
http://www.fictionclemens.org/
Wicker Man Studios:
http://www.wickermanstudios.com
http://www.panel2panel.com/gsg-archives.html
http://www.halfdeadcomic.com
http://www.comicspace.com/wickermanstudios
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