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The Looney Bin: “Interview Month Concludes”

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Here we are in the home stretch. This is the last week of "Interview Month," and I'm under direct orders to make it good. Jason (or Master) told me that for the last week I should (better) interview a big name creator. Sure, Johns and Azzarello were good, but to make a splash I need to interview someone huge. We'll, that's exactly what I did. Now, sit back and enjoy my interview with the man responsible for diversifying comics: Neil Gaiman.

[Ed's Note: This is a work of fiction. No creators participated in this interview.]

TLB: Alright, it's ringing, everyone be quiet.

GAIMAN: Thank you for calling the Gaiman residence, I'm not available right now as I am out writing and single handedly making comics good. Please leave a message at the beep. >BEEP<

TLB: Hello, Neil, it's Zack from The Looney Bin. I was calling to set up an interview. So, when you get this message you can call me at (904) 555-5929.

GAIMAN: Thank you for calling the Gaiman residence, I'm not available right now as I am out writing and single handedly making comics good. Please leave a message at the beep. >BEEP<

TLB: Hey, Neil, it's Zack again. I called you yesterday about scheduling an interview, it was my understanding that you wanted to do an interview. Again, you can reach me at (904) 555-5929. Thanks.

GAIMAN: Thank you for calling the Gaiman residence, I'm not available right now as I am out writing and single handedly making comics good. Please leave a message at the beep. >BEEP<

TLB: Hey, it's me again. Your agent told Jason Brice that you wanted to do an interview with me, and my deadline is rapidly approaching. I know you're a busy man, so please try and give me a call. Again, my number is (904) 555-5929.

GAIMAN: Thank you for calling the Gaiman residence, I'm not available right now as I am out writing and single handedly making comics good. Please leave a message at the beep. >BEEP<

TLB: Hey, I was out for about an hour. Just seeing if you called.

GAIMAN: Thank you for calling the Gaiman residence, I'm not available right now as I am out writing and single handedly making comics good. Please leave a message at the beep. >BEEP<

TLB: It’s me again. I was outside and I heard the phone ring. I’m guessing it wasn’t you. Give me a call.

GAIMAN: Thank you for calling the Gaiman home, we're not in. To be honest, I'll be out for awhile. You can leave a message, but I probably won't get it. Thanks. >BEEP<

TLB: Hey, I don't want to sound like a freak, but that's a different recording. So, I know you've been home. If you don't want to do the interview, just let me know. It's Zack.

GAIMAN: Thank you for calling the Gaiman home, we're not in. To be honest, I'll be out for awhile. You can leave a message, but I probably won't get it. Thanks. >BEEP<

TLB: Neil, I just read your web site. Last time you updated, you mentioned that you wanted to set up an interview. Now, it seems things have changed. I know you want to talk.

GAIMAN: Thank you for calling the Gaiman home, we're not in. To be honest, I'll be out for awhile. You can leave a message, but I probably won't get it. Thanks. >BEEP<

TLB: Alright, I'm getting really tired of this. My deadline is tomorrow, so either you can give me a call and we can do a quick interview, or I'll just go to my second choice; Mark Millar. I mean, he has an interview every five minutes, don't make me settle!

GAIMAN: >Do be doop< We're sorry, the number you are dialing: (354) 555-3365 is no longer in service.

TLB: Bastard.

Well folks, that’ll do it. I hope all y’all enjoyed interview month as much as I did. I’d like to thank all the creators for their time, and punches, and I’d like to thank you for reading. TLB will resume normal programming next week. Also, ill ups to the LCC. Peace.




The Looney Bin is a fictional column, and is intended for entertainment purposes only. I’m sure the “555” number gave that away.


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