The Looney Bin: “Interview Month Pt. 1 (of 4)”

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[Ed's Note: This is a work of fiction. Geoff Johns did not participate in this interview.]

For the entire month of February, The Looney Bin is going to have interviews with top creators. Why? Because people love interviews. At least, that’s what Tim O’Shea told me. To kick off the party, The Looney Bin has an interview with the man of many titles: Geoff Johns.

TLB: Thank you for agreeing to this interview. You are indeed a brave man. So, for those out there who may not know what you currently write: The Flash, Teen Titans, JSA, and Hawkman. Not to mention you just finished a run on The Avengers. So, my first question is, why limit yourself to such a small amount of comics?

Johns: I’ve actually been meaning to write some more. I’m just lazy. By the way, I like how you have this place set up. Very “Inside The Actor’s Studio.” You know, minus class.

TLB: Thank you. Okay, I really need to get this out of the way. Why in the hell did you bring back Krypto in Teen Titans?

Johns: Simple really, Peta was threatening DC with all kinds of law suits for animal neglect. Don’t be surprised if Bat-mite comes back as well.

TLB: It was only a matter of time before they found out. So, how does it feel to be DC’s bitch?

Johns: Feels good. It’s nice to have dental. Plus, I had a pretty bad cold last week, and I actually got to go to the doctor.

TLB: I suddenly feel cheated by SBC. Oh well. Of all the titles you’ve worked on, do you have any favorites?

Johns: Story wise, I really like The Flash. Art wise, I really enjoy seeing the JSA stuff.

TLB: Power Girl?

Johns: Power Girl.

TLB: Was there a certain time when you knew you wanted to be a comic book writer?

Johns: I don’t want to be a comic book writer now. This is just a temp job only my singing career takes off.

TLB: See, I wasn’t expecting that. You want to be a singer?

Johns: Yeah, always have. I want to be the next Michael Bolton.

TLB: That’s wrong on many levels. Have you done any recordings or any concerts?

Johns: I’ll be performing at the Hackerdale Family Reunion Saturday afternoon. I’m still working on my demo tape.

TLB: Is that a big gig for you, the Hackerdale’s?

Johns: Anything’s a big gig right now.

TLB: Beggars can’t be choosers.

Johns: I wouldn’t go that far. Want to hear me sing “How Can We Be Lovers?”

TLB: Is there anyway I could stop you?

Johns: Probably not:
“How can we be lovers if we can't be friends
How can we start over when the fighting never ends
Baby, how can we make love if we can't make amends
Tell me how we can be lovers if we can't be,
Can't be friends.”

TLB: That wasn’t half good.

Johns: But it wasn’t half bad either.

TLB: Okay, back to comics. How do you feel about the state of the industry?

Johns: It’s good. I’ve got a job, I’ve got dental, and “I’ve got this burning yearning yearning feeling inside me.”

TLB: Seriously man stop. There’s no need for Soft Cell.

Johns: There’s always need for Soft Cell. You know you want to sing too, Zack.

TLB: No, I’d like to try to conduct an interview here, and not play “American Idol.”

Johns: Alright. Buzzkill.

TLB: I heard that, but let’s move on. If you could work on one comic project which comic would it be?

Johns: I don’t understand, one?

TLB: Yes, I know the idea of working on a single series is a little baffling to you, but if you could pick only one comic, which would it be?

Johns: Probably Teen Titans. Because, with the cartoon now, it’s a guaranteed income. Since I can’t write more than one.

TLB: Speaking of Teen Titans, what’s your plans for future stories?

Johns: I’m thinking about having Robin and Superboy go on tour together. Maybe start up a Super-Teen Boy Band. That would bring in the young girl audience that comics need.

TLB: You’ve lost your mind haven’t you?

Johns: No, DC is looking to shake things up a bit, it’ll be a big hit. You wait. They’ll do Soft Cell covers. I got to go write this stuff down. I’ll see you later. Bye

TLB: Bye?

Okay, that didn’t go over quite the way I was hoping. Anyway, JSA #58 written by Geoff Johns is in stores today. Come back next week for another creator interview, with less singing.

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