The Good, The Bad, and This Kid - How Many More Comic Book Films?
By Josh Stone
Hello all, and welcome to my first Column. I know you are all very excited, and I have to admit, that makes me wonder a bit. Every other week I will rant and rave about issues no one cares about other than me and a handful of others, so for that I have called my column The Good, The Bad, And This Kid. I hope I donít seriously upset anyone out there who was expecting intelligent insight into the world of comics. So, without any further ado, let us begin our magical expedition into my delusional mind.
As everyday passes news comes my way of films being made based on comic books. When all this jazz started occurring, I was very much excited, I might venture so far as to say I was thrilled. Now, a couple years and what feels like a million films later, theyíre still coming. I mean really people, does the public need this many comic book films? Are there not enough ďFast and FuriousĒ summer films to go around? Hollywood has the frame of mind that, if it works once, itíll work forever. And itís just not true. Iím a huge fan of comics (why else would I write at Silver Bullet Comic Books?) and even I am sick and tired of seeing trailers for these films. Have the Batman movies taught us nothing? Have we not suffered through enough bad comic films to know better? Just to show you how bad it is getting, my crack research team (my friend Johnny) and I have compiled a list of movies being made based on comic books. Remember, this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
1) Wonder Woman (I can only imagine what they are going to do to poor Diana)
2) Judge Dredd (is there really need for another Dredd movie?)
3) Crow 4 (only four, I thought we were up to like 20 by now)
4) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (I cry at these previews, and not tears of joy. Why Alan, why would you let them do this to you?)
5) Punisher (Blinks)
6) Batman something or another (NOOOOO!!!! But I have seen that perhaps the guy who plays Angel is playing the Bats, so thatís okay)
7) Hulk (Have you seen what the Hulk looks like?)
Then on top of this list there are all the sequels to the movies already made, and that damn Superman movie they are hell bent on making. Am I alone in the world when I say, ďPlease, spare me the indignities!Ē Iíve thought about it over and over and I have figured out what it is that bothers me the most about all these movies. Itís not the fact that a majority of them flop like a fish out of water, itís that they make me look bad. People who have never read a comic then go see a movie based on the comic, think Iím the biggest idiot in the world. They donít understand that the people making these movies have no idea what the hell they are doing, all they see is a series of images that portrays the characters for idiots. Iím sorry, I donít mean to be blunt, but face it, after youíre non-comic fan friend sees, letís say Daredevil (I actually like this movie), they think youíve been wasting your money buying ďFunny BooksĒ based on this silly character.
However, the machine that is Hollywood has not totally screwed us comic lovers. There have been three movies that have been met with public approval and I think you know which ones they are. Unfortunately, the public (or at least the public that I know) still feels that comics are childish and not worth their time. So, all these movies did for comics was make people say ďHey, comic books make great flicks dawg.Ē No one, save one or two, took the time to see where the movie ended and where the books began. I know from working at a library that when a movie based on a book comes out, the book is in high demand. I didnít see said effect in my local comic shop (itís not actually my comic shop, I just happen to go there more then I probably should).
So, my point is, at first people thought that these movies were the savior of comics. However, time has shown us that our world cannot be saved by outside forces. When Hollywood makes movies based on comics, there is a 90% chance it is going to ruin the credibility of them. I know itís unfair to bring up the Batman movies again, but if it were not for that wonderful animated series in the 90s, the Batman flicks would have scarred the character forever. So Hollywood I ask you, please stop ruining characters I grew up on. Itís not working. With that said, no matter how many comic films they keep dishing out, Iím still going to be there to see every one. But in my defense, I really donít want to, I just canít help it, itís like a sickness. Hollywood is aiding an addict. Sad really.
Well, there it is, my first column. I hope it wasnít too painful for you all. Now, come back in 14 and Iíll bore you with tales of ďComics and the Public Library.Ē I was hoping that by the time I was done writing this Iíd have a cool phrase to sign off with, but such is not the case. So, all I have for you is this, ďWhen life hands you lemons, make a comic book film.Ē
WAIT! There is something I forgot. I used to write an online comic called Daily Dilly, and myself and the artist are going to be bringing it back. The first few scripts were terrible, but it does get better, so please wait it out. http://geocities.com/dailydilly/dailydilly.html
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