He’s Only An... Artist

By Tony Lee

Right then. Before I start? Let's talk quickly about the thing that I've had countless emails about. Let's speak about my final words on the subject to Valerie D'Orazio.

For those who missed it, I sent her a review copy of MILF Magnet. She posted on her blog, Occasional Superheroine that she was outraged at it. Quotes included:

"Most disturbing was a scene where Taser is mostly naked and chained up while a sexy lady in a corset rubs her body next to his. This scene was so irrevocably wrong and immoral that I had to read it several times in order to fully give expression and understanding to the outrage I felt."

I replied, expressing my outrage at her outrage. She immediately retorted, giving her outrage at my outrage of her outrage. And yesterday I fired one last volley where I said that until today, my outrage to her outrage of my outrage of her outrage would be the final word.

Now, as you can understand, both of us have blogs that are read by a lot of people. Many are fiercely loyal to the blogs. And over the last couple of days I've had countless emails of support in my campaign against Valerie, while others have emailed me with messages of a more insulting kind. Valerie's blog has had similar posts, and I'm sure that she had emails too. The entire internet has been split in half over this – well, perhaps a few choice blogs and comic sites at least – with people coming to both of us asking for 'our side of the story'. MILF Magnet, and to an extent the excellent other series, Johnny Dollar (which we've both used as comparisons in our messages) have risen from vague obscurity to a vague notoriety from this. For example, one well known, East Coast US shop that contacts me often emailed me Saturday night to inform me that since the feud started, orders for MILF Magnet had gone up four hundred percent.

And so. There have been people that have replied to me saying 'you tell her, Tony! ' And others that have said 'You're a douchebag, Tony! '. My fiancée has offered to mud fight her in corsets. Others have replied that they're not sure if this is some kind of work, whether we're actually doing this for shits and giggles and yet more have expressed how their brains have exploded in the confusion.

Well no more. No more will I keep my fans in a state of confusion like this. And to Valerie D'Orazio? I say this –

Cheers, sweetheart!

You see, it was a piss about mock fight. Valerie and I are good friends, as also I am with her significant other, David Gallaher, he of "High Moon" for Zuda and the excellent Johnny Dollar for Moonstone. What, you thought we picked that at random?

Valerie's always been known as a staunch supporter of women's rights, but what people forget is that she's actually a savvy reporter with a sense of humour. And while at New York Comic Con back in April I told her about MILF Magnet over a beer, she decided there and then that we should have a big internet fight about it, because she knew that there would be people out there, people who simply didn't get Valerie that would expect her to knee-jerk reaction to such a title.

Originally it was going to be a slow build, a couple of weeks to see if we could get Rich Johnston into it, but we neglected one thing – the levels of support of our fans. Who within minutes of her posting and then me posting were already linking this around the net and getting their friends involved. After a matter of days we realised that we were in danger of popping the cork already – and decided to call it quits before it got silly. A fake feud is one thing – a fake feud that goes on forever is dull.

So to the people who supported us both, thank you. Your passion is to be applauded, and to the people who worked it out? Well done too for not pressing the point. Thanks to Jimmy Aquino also who, if we had continued this was going to kick off on his podcast this week.

And if there's anyone out there who thinks that this is me back-pedalling quickly, that I'm in the wrong and I'm just trying to save face? Here's a picture of us in NYCC in April, just for such a reason...

Note the lack of beard, continuity freaks!

Cheers, Valerie. And remember to check out both "High Moon" and Johnny Dollar – and also Valerie's upcoming Cloak & Dagger series for Marvel. It promises to be one of the best takes on them ever.

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Now, where were we? Ah yes, the main reason for this weeks column: Dan Boultwood.

You see, it was his birthday last week, and I popped down to London to see him and celebrate it in style. And, as ever, the 'two drunk guys in a bar' double act kicked off. Now, the reason I mention this is because one of the questions I was asked to speak about was about Dan.

"Tony – how did you meet Dan Boultwood? And why do you guys seem to always be working together? Can't you get a better artist, or Dan find a better writer? *giggle*"

Dan and I work together because we are compadres, we are partners. He's my best friend in comics and one of my closest friends in real life. And he's one of the best artists I know. And I'll be honest, I'm getting the stories in with him while I can because I know that one day he'll be too big for me.

Dan & Tony, Fitzrovia, London, March 2006...

I first met Dan back in 2004. It was the last November 'Bristol Convention' that they did and to be honest it was a small affair. I'd been talking to APC / Rich Emms about bringing an idea I had called Mythlands over to them, and I was in discussions with Mongoose about Starship Troopers book 2 at the time and so I popped down to the convention to speak to people about both. It was a last minute affair, and I didn't have a hotel room booked – but Rich had several rooms booked for APC and promised that I'd be able to get a place to crash, as I was only staying for one night. We talked business about Mythlands, Rich had an artist in mind called Jim Sutherns and I spoke to Dan, there as the artist of Monster Club and the creator of the excellent Comicana at the time quite briefly during the evening. Then, around midnight the bar thinned out and Dan, Rich, a couple of others and I were sitting around a table when Rich mentioned matter-of-factly to Dan that I was crashing in his room. We eyed each other up as gunfighters do. With his red hair and military jacket, I thought he was gay. Rich left, as did the others, and we ended up alone in the bar.

Dan & Tony, Bristol Con/Eagle Awards, May 2006...

Amusingly, neither of us wanted to go to bed yet mainly as we didn't know the other that well, and we didn't relish the idea of being shirtless in front of a total stranger. And so, with the advantage we had that Rich had been buying rounds on his room's tab and we'd usually been walking up to do it for him, and that the bar staff knew us now by face as 'room 453', we carried on drinking. And putting them on Rich's tab.

Around 2 a.m., we started to bond by doing that age old ritual of working out whether we liked and hated the same people. We did. By 3 a.m. we were talking utter bollocks about comics, we discovered that we both used to shop in the same comic store in Richmond, They Walk Among Us and by 4 a.m. we were staring at a TV blankly. It had a car on it – a real old 40's one, with sideboards and everything.

'I'd love to do a story with one of those in.' Dan said. And that spurred on the next two hours of conversation where we drunkenly discussed and planned a story that was a parody of all the 40's stories we loved. He was named 'The Gloom' because we needed something gloomier than The Shadow. We created The Professor, the scientist brain in the body of a chimp because Dan really wanted to draw a monkey. And by the time we staggered into the bedroom at 6 a.m. we were firm friends. And had a full story in our heads, complete with the first eight pages already laid out.

Dan & Tony, MCM Expo, London, October 2006...

9 a.m. the following morning, we're finding Rich at the APC booth and we're both still drunk. As I explain how The Gloom is going to be the best thing ever, Dan is, with a killer hangover sketching how he envisioned The Gloom. It never changed, and I'm honoured to have that picture on my wall. With my pitch and the art, Rich was swept along with us and agreed to print it. And that is how The Gloom came to be, and how Dan and I met.

Of course, The Gloom never came out past issue #2 due to APC folding, but we always held true to our dream that one day it would come out. And this year we received the rights back from Rich as a present. And hopefully in 2009 we shall release a collected trade of all five issues. If you're a publisher and you'd like to speak to us about this... We are still looking for one.

Dan & Tony, Golden Glass Awards, Bristol, May 2007...

So anyway. 2005 was spent talking The Gloom. We would meet in a pub in London and drink, discussing ideas that got better the more alcohol we drank. 'Two Drunk Guys In A Bar Productions' was created. When The Gloom collapsed, we were with Markosia and we found ourselves working on The Tizzle Sisters together – which later became renamed as The Doppleganger Chronicles.

In 2007 we started on Hope Falls together and by 2008 we were working on "The Prince of Baghdad" together. And from those, Dan has been pictured in coffee table books on art, various magazines and is now working on small things for Com.X and Image. What's that, you ask? Well, Dan's one of the back up stories of Phonogram book 2, when I spoke to Kieron he thought it was possibly issue #5. And considering how big Phonogram is, this is a great opportunity.

So Dan Boultwood is a name you should know. Whether it's due to old work like The Gloom, later stuff like "The Prince of Baghdad" or upcoming things like Phonogram or Shotgun Samurai, his name is destined to shine in the stars.

And no matter what happens, we'll be there together, sharing hotels, sitting in the bar, giving out fake awards at mock award ceremonies and having some of the best laughs of my life.

Happy belated birthday, mate.

Dan & Tony, Montague Pike, London, December 2008...

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Other things now – firstly Doctor Who: the Forgotten #4 did come out last week, which is great news, and apparently #5 will be out on the 31^st of December. But, with Christmas, it'll most likely be out the week after.

What is out this week however is Judge Dredd: The Megazine 279, the Christmas issue – which has the first part of my five-month "Citi-Def: Field Trip" story, drawn by the excellent Jack Lawrence, aka Jackademus. It's almost a Disneyesque take on a load of gun-happy nutjobs trapped in a post apocalyptic world, which is always fun. I even kill off some of "Stalag #666" in a background line. As ever, I'm always worried what people will think, but currently it seems to be going down well, so we'll see what happens. But if you don't buy it, you can't see it, so get out there this Wednesday and pick it up, buckaroos!

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As we're into the hless than two months' stage, I'll also point out that in February I'll be at the New York Comic Con and then the week after I'll be at Gallifrey One in Los Angeles. But in addition to this, I'll be returning as one of the guests on the 10/2 'post con' Comic Book Club Live in New York. I love these guys and will be looking forwards to this immensely. And whether I get any work or not during the con will definitely shape my mood and replies...

Maybe I can get Valerie D'Orazio to be a guest too...

Until next week, kiddies.

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Discuss this column at the Only A Forum forum.
© 2008, Tony Lee

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