I’m a Celebrity – Let Me Into Here...

By Tony Lee

Hello children. Are you sitting comfortably? Excellent. Me? Couldn't be better. I'm writing this on the desk of my suite at the Clontarf Castle Hotel, in Dublin while Tracy relaxes on the four poster bed next door.

Tony in the Clontarf Suite...

Yes. I'm staying in a suite in a castle. Why? Because I can. In ten minutes we're off about a mile down the road to see where Bram Stoker was born. For such is our opulence. I shall throw rubies at serfs while we travel down.

For five days I have avoided work, only dealt with a minimum of vital emails and more importantly, I've slept well in plush beds while not worrying about deadlines. Three nights out of five in four poster beds, one night in a hotel with built in spa, and I'm totally addicted to the white towelling robes you get in the plush rooms. And suites. This suite I'm in right now? Has two, count them two 42 inch plasma screens.

I have to live like this, you see - I'm incredibly famous, you know. No, really. I never knew this vital piece of news, I laboured in obscurity for years but yes, indeed I am famous. I've been in the paper over here in Ireland. Twice.

Of course I mean Dundalk, the town of my forefathers, and the place that I've been for the last couple of days with Tracy as we travel over Ireland on a quick 'get away from it all' holiday.

Dundalk is the jewel in the crown, the homecoming, and I've already mentioned last week that I had been in the local paper, the Argus with lines like 'famous English writer' and 'prodigal son' pretty much both showing up in the same paragraph. Well, imagine my surprise when I arrived at my Aunt Maureen's house only to discover that I'd been put in a second week, again with photo – and this time they had details of the 'party' that I was going to be having while over here. And imagine the amusement that my family had when other members of my extended Irish contingent started emailing them going 'wait a second – why the bloody hell weren't we invited to this shindig? '

So last night, Saturday was a party day. I've been meeting the entire family and I'm being treated like royalty. Yesterday I was chauffeured around various places by my cousin Riccardo with my other cousin Alvaro as guide, We then had a family meal and a craic in a local bar where the Argus once more arrived to not only interview me about my trip, but then later on sent a photographer to take a variety of shots of me enjoying myself.

The family Lucchesi – My Irish family. Alvaro Jr, Santina, Alvaro Sr, Maureen, Riccardo, Luanna......

Of course, as much as this is great? What's even greater is that my father is here too – the sneaky bugger hadn't told me and when we arrived at Aunt Maureen's house he walked out to greet us. I double took before I started screaming 'I knew it! I bloody knew it! ' at him and acting like someone in an episode of Punk'd.

So, what was I really doing in Dundalk? Well, the family is primary the reason I went there – but secondly, I travelled there to look at the famous sights of the Cattle Raid of Cooley, and the famous Irish champion Cúchulainn.

I love Irish myths, and the Táin Bó Cúailnge , or Cattle Raid of Cooley is one of my favourites ever. And I'm currently in talks with Walker books to add Cúchulainn and the Tain to my series of 'Heroes and Heroines', starting with his childhood as Setanta and moving all the way to the fight at Ferdia's Ford and his final battle. And today, driving around with my cousins, Tracy and my father, we saw not only Ferdia's Ford, now in Ardee on the river Dee, but we also saw Cúchulainn's Stone, where he tied himself to a rock in order to die fighting on his feet – and we stood on the top of one of the highest hills in the Cooley Peninsular and looked down on Maeve's gap, where she walked the armies against the men of Ulster.

Tony at Cúchulainn's Stone...

To write the story, you have to feel the story. I've always been a firm believer in this, with Robin Hood I spent time in Sherwood, for King Arthur I've visited the sights most connected to him and now, having seen Dundalk, or Dun Dealgan, where Cúchulainn, then Setanta was reputably born, I know I'm ready to do the story justice. Because while you stand on top of the mountain, when you rest against the Lia Faile, when you stand at Ferdia's Ford, places where mighty heroes did mighty things – you can't help but to be inspired.

And maybe one day people will talk of Dundalk and me in the same tones as they do Dundalk and The Corrs, or Dundalk and Cuchulainn?

Yeah. Doubtful.

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Now, this is important, it's come out that Pia Guerra, the artist on Doctor Who: The Forgotten, has had to drop off a couple of issues of the six-part series due to personal reasons. And yes, this means that we will have one, maybe even two fill in artists.

Now, before the rumour mill kicks off, Pia is gutted to have to do this, and to ensure that everyone is aware of what has happened, she sent this statement to me before I left to go on holiday.

"We've been practically camped out in palliative care for over a week now helping out friends and family of a very good friend who is fighting cancer with every breath. It's a terrible situation and in no way is it possible to maintain the schedule under deadline while this is going on and that's why we have to bring in a cover artist. I'm very sorry about that but I hope readers will understand, I will be working on issues 5 and 6 and look forward to bringing this story home. "

Since this was sent to me, I understand that Pia's friend lost their battle and passed away. So please, don't criticize her for dropping off a couple of issues, send your wishes and prayers to Pia to pass on to her late friend's family.

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Once more, as I mentioned last week, over the next couple of months I'm all over the place, but here are a few for your diaries.

Saturday the 27th of September I will be at Orbital Comics in London to sign copies of Doctor Who: the Forgotten with Gary Russell, who'll be signing copies of his own Doctor Who series, Agent Provocateur.

I'm not asking how Orbital are getting the comics, I just know that this will be one of the few times in the UK that you'll be able to buy it. So come along to the store on Upper St Martin's Lane between 2pm and 4pm and say hi. Come in costume too!

There's a Facebook events page too for this. There will be a post-signing drink at The Angel Pub, just around the corner from around 5pm.

In October we have the Birmingham International Comic Show on the 4th-5th, I'll be a guest at The Lass O'Gowrie pub in Manchester for a Doctor Who pub mini con with people like Paul Cornell, Adrian Salmon, John Freeman and Gary Russell on the 18th as part of the Manchester Literary Festival, and the following week, the 25th and 26th I'll be at the London MCM Expo once more, drinking real Guinness and judging Cosplay contests with Emma Vieceli and Ben Templesmith.

You are of course quite welcome to come along to all events.

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Right. I'm spending time writing when I could be enjoying this suite. So sod off, and I'll see you in a week…

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Discuss this column at the Only A Forum forum.
© 2008, Tony Lee

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