From the Mouths of Babes...

By Tony Lee

So last week I had a piece all planned out to be written, but then with the passing of Rory I decided to delay it. And of course this week's one, a piece on the London Expo was originally going to be here, but now might be next week. Perhaps I might put the two together. Who knows.

But we'll start as we start, and we'll see how we do before the headsquirrels begin and I'm dragged screaming from the laptop as I try to claw out my eyes with parts of USB cable.

Hell, it's a job.

Two weeks or so back, I went to my old schools in Hayes, Middlesex to talk about being a writer. It was an incredibly humbling experience to be honest and one that I never thought that I would be able to do, as my memories of 'famous ex students' from when I was a child were memories of really famous people – and as we've said before, there's no such thing as a comics celebrity.

As far as the head teacher of Minet Junior School was concerned, I was the prodigal son returned, proof that you could leave the arms of the educational establishment and still make it out there, but even this I had to disagree—as I've also said before that I have two brothers, both about twelve, thirteen years older than me, and both of these have, in their selected fields managed to achieve far more than I could ever hope to.

But in the morning I spoke at Minet School, and in the afternoon I did the same talk at Rosedale College, which was once Hayes Manor Comprehensive. It was a talk about writing in general, things that someone could do when they left school, and the opportunities (and lack thereof) for such a writer when they left school and entered the big wide world. I also went through the process of creating a comic, using a page of The Prince of Baghdad as an example. In Rosedale, I had the added enjoyment of having one of my old English teachers turn up, Mrs Polytyku, who, once she found out that I'd made a life for myself using the very skills that she'd taught me all those years ago, was thrilled. And, mentioning that she was a massive fan of Doctor Who, when she discovered that I was actually (and had already done this once before) writing a Doctor Who comic, she—well, I think there was a tear in her eye of pride. I almost wish I'd brought her something.

But in the morning especially, I'd allowed a period of time for questions. A chance for the children primarily aged eight to ten years old to ask me about a career as a writer. And I thought that, almost as if I was being interviewed here by them, I'd answer a couple of them for you.

Are you rich?

Sadly, no. That said, I'm certainly not poor. Writing has given me enough money to pay my bills, live comfortably and pay for two US trips a year to go to conventions. And when you consider that going from England to San Diego for a week is usually around £1,300 (that's almost 3k dollars), to be able to just put that aside for 'expenses' is a great feeling.

But, as ever the life of a freelancer is a precarious one, and often cheques arrive too early, too late, in the wrong account, to the wrong person, in the wrong format—three times in May I expected a large bag of money in my account, and three times I was let down. Luckily I have other incomes, a writer always has multiple projects on the go, and so it wasn't a major issue. But, to ensure that you don't have this problem, you end up taking multiple projects to ensure such a thing doesn't happen again. And you're always looking at the worst case scenario, and because of this you end up living on the smallest amount you can, just so that cheque can last that little bit longer.

That said, compared to a large chunk of writers? I'm rich. I can afford to do this as my job. I can afford to not worry about money for months upon end at some point. But it took me a long time to get to this point, and I work a lot of long hours.

Why do you drive a crappy car?

Because it works. When I am rich, I'll buy another.

Are you Tony Stark?

No.

Tony on stage, with usual attire.

Why do you wear a suit? If I was a writer who worked at home I'd wear a T Shirt all the time.

Ah, well. Firstly it's not a suit, it's a pair of jeans, shirt, tie and waist coat.

So?

Well, nothing really. Anyway, when I'm at home writing? I'm usually in a T Shirt, or something comfortable. I work alone, and therefore I don't have to worry about what people think. There have been days where I've just worn a dressing gown to write, purely because I couldn't be bothered to dress.

But when I'm in public, that's a different matter. In the past I've done conventions in T Shirts, in loose shirts, in Lumberjack shirts even—but I just feel that a convention is something you should make that special effort for. You see, the bulk of the people who'll come to you while you're signing are fans. And I'd like them to realise that I'm appreciative of them, that I'm not just sitting at this desk because my publisher told me to. And also, I've always been brought up that when in company, to put the best foot forwards, to make sure that your scrubbed and combed and look your best. I like wearing waistcoats, I have since I was a student. I also like shirts and ties when loose. It was a natural progression to now wear the three with jeans. And to be honest, it's also a branding. In New York people knew who I was at a distance due to the outfit. Of course, this might be why so many editors were able to escape me. Hmm.

It's effectively my 'booth and panel' gear. It serves to keep me professional. While I'm in the waistcoat, shirt and tie? I'm on best behaviour. Even when I let my hair down in the bar after, it's a subtle reminder to me that I'm not in the local bar, I'm at a convention, and there are at least three editors here that I'd like to work with...

Do you write comics because you're not good enough to write books?

Actually, to start with— yes. When I got back into writing comics in 2003, I'd spent ten years writing radio scripts, press releases, marketing campaigns and journalistic pieces. I hadn't sat down and written more than a thousand words in one go in almost a decade. In fact, I had about five books, all in various states of incompletion that I never for one second thought I would ever finish. And so, when I looked at the thought of doing a book, 100,000 words of sequential completion, I would break out in a cold sweat and run the other direction. To me, writing comics was easier. It was similar to screenplays, or radioplays, and this was something I could get my head around.

Of course, as the time went on, I realised that I actually wanted to write a book, that comic scripting, for all its ease didn't give me the full control that writing a book gave, and so I started to write young adult books. I even found a Literary Agent who had faith in me. The first book I finished, Rahbin Hood, was an alternate take on Sherwood for teenagers but, although the publishers that received it turned it down for the content (Muslim boy returns from Jerusalem with a message from the now dead Robert of Loxley, hides his face in a hood, becomes an outlaw while honouring Robert's name), feeling that it wasn't quite right for the current climate, nearly every single one of them came back going 'but the boy can certainly write'. And so I'm currently finishing one book, writing another and starting a third one for the adult market. So in answer—I did write comics because I wasn't good enough – but now I know I am. Writing is like playing football—when you first kick that ball you're rubbish, but play enough, practice enough and you'll become a star player. And that's the same with any writing discipline. Write enough and suddenly the veil will part and you'll finally understand it.

Are you Iron Man?

Yes.

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As well as meeting my old school, this week was also the London MCM Expo at the ExCel Centre in Docklands, and there were about 20,000 attendees to see a variety of celebrities from film and television, a wealth of Anime voice talent and some of the biggest and brightest of UK comics. And a couple of famous Americans.

Oh and a ton of Stormtroopers and scary Anime cosplayers. Many of which were doing this scary thing called 'Free Hugs', where they walk around with a cardboard sign offering free hugs to anyone who wanted it. We found this very creepy, even more so as the weekend went on and the signs changed to things like 'Free Kitten Kuddles and Kisses'. No. Brain does not want. Of course, celebrity chum and Judge Dredd writer Al Ewing saw an opportunity for some hot cosplay action...

Al Ewing. Wouldn't you like a hug off this man?

So, on the Friday I drove down to Docklands, checked in to the very swish hotel room (you can tell they're swish when the toilet has it's own separate room) that the Expo people had kindly provided for me and then went over to the centre to set up the 'Comics Village' - something which would have been far easier if I hadn't found the tables beside my area also labelled with 'for Anthony Lee'. This confused me mightily, but luckily help was at hand - there was another Tony Lee there, a retailer, who just so happened to be beside me. It was most surreal!

The area sorted, I had a sandwich in the centre with celebrity chum Stuart Claw of DTRN (there to host most of the panels and the cosplay) and his companions including his brother Gareth and then I went back to the hotel and prepared for the evening 'press junket', after meeting my better half Tracy at the Docklands Light Railway stop, handily provided right beside the entrance to the ExCel . The junket was a new idea and although need work was well received, with UK Garrison (our UK version of 501 Squadron, Stormtroopers, Jedi and other such movie dressalikes) removing their Stormtrooper get up in favour of Colonial Viper gear in honour of guests Alessandro Juliani, Aaron Douglas and Ed James Olmos, all of which were really cool people and not at all the 'stars' that the Expo has suffered some years.

There was also a free bar—and while drinking our free glasses of Sea Breeze (Vodka / Cranberry) we also caught up once more with Stuart, who in turn introduced us to top Texan Mike McFarland, who was among other things the voice of Havok in Fullmetal Alchemist, which I love more than most things and turned me into a gushing fanboy. Mike turned out to be a charming and witty fellow, and kept us amused with several anecdotes. And as I said above, we had our celebrity US comic contingent, so this time there was 30 Days Of Night creator Steve Niles and his other half Sarah Wilkinson, looking a little fazed and jet lagged. But, being troopers they still found the bar.

Saturday started for me with breakfast with Steve and Sarah who were trying to work out how much they should be selling books for, as they had no idea of the UK / US comparisons, and I made it to the centre by 9am to ensure things were okay set up wise. Much of the day was spent running around making sure that creators could actually get in to their booths, and I said hi to the Markosia booth including Ian Sharman and Cherie Donovan, Harry Markos, Annika Eade and Rich Johnston but by noon it was pretty sorted and I got to relax a little before doing a panel with Steve Niles, which went quite well.

Dan Boultwood had arrived by this point and we managed a swift one in a local bar before making our way back to the booth where we signed copies of Hope Falls for an hour before I did a second panel with Simon Furman, Nick Abadzis, Kieron Gillen, Jamie McKelvie, David Hine and Frazer Irving. I wanted Jamie McKelvie up there too, but they had run out of radio mikes. Still, it was a fun panel, even if it was delayed by X Files fans staging a protest because the extra footage that they'd come specifically to see hadn't been shown.

Apparently Fox hadn't sent the right disk or something, but eventually it was sorted. Either that or the irate fans were promised a naked Fox Mulder next time or something.

After that I discovered where the green room, and therefore the free food and beer was. Oh yes.

And then it was 4pm and I was judging the cosplay with Kazz and Mike McFarland, but nobody could find Mike so Bryan, by this point stressing managed to blackmail Steve into doing it. We went to the judges table to see Mike already there - and it was too late for Steve Niles, the master of horror to get out of judging the Expo cosplay contest...

Ho ho ho. He hasn't forgiven me for that. Next year I'm going to make sure Ben Templesmith does it. Because I am full of love.

And then it was done for the day, and we made our way back to the Novotel with a couple of extra guests, friends of mine, James and Rik who'd popped by to say hi, new Eagles Award head honcho Cass Conroy (there as press) and Jason Badower, Heroes artist and soon to be Top Cow busywhizz. We took over the balcony with me, Tracy, Dave Hine and his friends, Frazer, Dan. Cass, James, Rik, Kieron, Chrissy, Andie Tong, Jason, Al Ewing and finally newlyweds 'Spike' Steve and Sarah Critchard all around a big table. Eventually we all started to fragment off and by 10pm when Tracy had to leave to catch the train (the bed she had on the Friday now taken by Dan) we were left with Steve, Sarah, Al, me and Dan. And then at midnight the wedded couple left to be replaced by Mike McFarland, and the four of us created new ideas that will never ever be allowed into childrens comics... I also managed to chat to Ed James Olmos where I mentioned that I loved him in Miami Vice. He seemed genuinely surprised at this and replied that yes, it was also one of his favourite times too.

I think Dan and I collapsed about 3am in the end, Al crashing on our floor.

Sunday was definitely a hangover day and a bittersweet one as Dan had to leave early. And so Al and I had breakfast and staggered to the centre, where I managed to cobble a panel of Harry Markos, Morag Lewis, Dave Hine and Andrew Whelan for a Brits in Manga panel at 11am, the original guests not having made it. And then shortly afterwards I did a second interview with Steve Niles which went far better than the first, now we knew each other better.

I saw passing glimpses of Geek Syndicate's Dave Montieth, the Tozzer guys and Lee 'Budgie' Barnett and his son Phil. Julian, my literary agent was there with Andy Briggs, so I finally got to see him and I think I waved once at Cy Dethan as I ran past. I also caught up with HuwJ, a great artist if ever I saw one.

Off to save the world again? Oh, alright...

Colin Baker was at the Weta stand, and I managed to get a photo of him in the original jacket of the 6th Doctor, something he wasn't doing much, mainly as one of the Weta guys was wearing it and didn't want to let it go. Colin was a gentleman and for the picture suggested that I wear the jacket, but I disagreed. Only the 6th Doctor should wear the jacket, and Colin placed it on. We discussed the IDW comic as Colin's one of the few Doctors that's actually written for the UK comic and he was very interested in getting one of Pia's pages. I think I made her day when I told her that. I avoided the even heavier concentration of 'Free Hugs' kids and then I was back in the cosplay contest, judging the second day's show with Kazz and Allesandro, who turned out to be an incredibly amusing chap, and I was most annoyed with myself for not managing to spend more time with him.

And then it was over for another year. Will I be back? Oh yes. Do I need sleep?

Of course not. Didn't you read earlier? I'm Tony Stark.

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© 2008, Tony Lee

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