From Italy With Love...

By Tony Lee

So, as you read this, I'll be on the slopes.

That's right, kiddies – Uncle Tony is off for a couple of days vacation. While the movers and shakers of the comics scene all head to Wondercon on the West Coast, I and some friends will be heading to the slopes of Courmayeur for four days of skiing fun. And it will be fun. I have my skiblades packed (although I haven't used them for about four years) and I have my ipod primed and ready with the From Russia With Love soundtrack. You know the bit – the ski chase scene. I see nothing wrong with hurtling down a hill with that in your ears!

And of course, it's not a holiday unless I'm working. And so, even though I'm off piste so to speak, I'm also taking my HTC Kaiser and most likely my laptop, to get a couple of hours a day of typing under my belt. I was even tempted to do this column 'live', so to speak – but I knew that if I risked such a thing the Gods of the Internet would take offence and they would strike me down – or at least the net connection of the surrounding area. And so I write about my upcoming vacation, rather than on my HTC while hurtling down a slope. For shame.

I've said it before in earlier columns, but I'll say it again. I'm on vacation – but as a freelancer, we don't really get those. The technical term for the next four days is 'four days where I don't do any work and therefore don't get paid – or at best get paid five days later than I first envisaged'. For a freelancer doesn't get holiday pay, and just like a couple of weeks back where I talked about freelancers not getting paid when sick, a vacation is pretty much the same, if not worse.

'How can this be? ' I hear you ask en masse. 'How can being on holiday actually be worse than being sick? You don't sneeze, you don't have a streaming nose or splitting headache – how in God's name can you justify that statement, Lee! '

Well. In fact, it's incredibly easy to. You see, if I'm sick, I'm bed ridden. I sneeze and snuffle and drool and cough and it's not a pretty sight. But I'm in my bedroom, and for those of you that don't know – my bedroom is also where my office is. And at worst, I have a laptop and a wifi network. Basically? I can lay in my bed and at least attempt to put together some pages of Doctor Who, or a couple of pages of Night Rise adaptation. I might only manage one or two pages, but I'll manage that. And every page counts.

But on holiday? Out on vacation? I'm actively encouraged to back away from the laptop. Hell, the friends I'm going with have actually suggested that I don't take it with me. To just leave it here and go skipping off into the snow covered sunset. And I'll be straight with you, it's looking tempting. But here is the rub. I'm a writer. I love to write. And, even with only my trusty HTC at my side, I know I'll be writing something. And if I'm going to do that anyway, I might as well take the laptop and make sure that I get at least the right tool for the job out on the table. Even if I do half an hour a day, that'll still be about twenty pages of adaptation done over the four days. I can even type it up on the plane, or in the airport.

Of course, I'd rather not – but it's a need. It's something inside me that makes me want to just do one more page, finish one more story. In just over a week I'll have finished the Night Rise adaptation, and already I'm discussing what I should be doing next with Walker Books. I'll suddenly have more time to work on my other four projects – but really guys, do you honestly think I won't be planning something else? I'm already reading tons of Steampunk as I have a need to write a story set in a Steampunk world entitled Steambabies. And no, it's not Muppet Babies with Babbage and Welles. Think more Runaways in a Steampunk world mixed with a little V For Vendetta. And as well as that, I already want to write that children's conic about twin kids embroiled in the war between the Irish Faerie Seelie and Unseelie court – an area I've wanted to go back to since Midnight Kiss – called Faerie Tale. I already want to work on a two part group effort that brings me back to Starship Troopers – but more on that next week. There are all these things I want to do, and not enough time to do them all. Which is how it should be, because a creator who sits there going 'I've got nothing' isn't a creator anymore.

I've got files upon files of half thought out and old ideas where I place these thoughts, these concepts into. And every now and then I reach in and pull a few out, play with them mix them up a bit. This is my ideaspace. These are my babies. And one day, every one of them will be finished.

So, with such lofty plans, I can't spend four days buggering around on the slopes. I need to continue, to finish. I hate the process sometimes, but at the end I love the finished product.

So I will take my laptop. What's the worst that can happen?

And no, I won't be taking it on the slope. That's just crazy talk. Besides, there won't be room for it beside my ipod and my HTC Kaiser...

Because haven't you heard? I'm on vacation...

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So. Last week was the release of Hope Falls #4. Did you buy it? It seems that many people didn't, or at least thought they had but, when they hit their local comic shop, to their shock and dismay – it wasn't in. They were caught short.

Now I've actually had some complaints from people about this, stating how dare I whet their appetites only to yank their hopes from them as they realise the comic just isn't there. And I have some news for you, buckaroos. I don't do this. Me and Dan? We love you. Especially you there, in the corset. You're our new best friend. But the comic stores? They have to order from Diamond who order from Markosia to get the comics in, and many of them? They don't trust you to go in and buy the comics. So, prove them wrong, guys. Go in and order all four already available issues as well as next month's #5. They're in PREVIEWS. In fact, I'll make it easier for you. Here are the Diamond Codes for issues #1 to #4. 1 - SEP073849 / 2 - OCT073685 / 3 - NOV073236 /4 - DEC073298. You have no excuse now for not going in and re-ordering these comics. Trust me, you'll enjoy them. And we'll love you for it. And we're considering having a 'Wrap Party' in London on the final issues US release some time around late March, more news when we get a definite time and date of when it's released...

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And so the Eagle award nominations to be nominated are in full swing, the Eisners are calling for ballots and by now the 80th Oscars ceremonies will have both delighted and disgusted us. And there's never a better time to mention that Dan and I, will once more be performing the Two Drunk Guys In A Bar 2008 Champagne Glass Awards at the Bristol Comic Expo.

As ever, these are a guerrilla award ceremony, nothing to do with the convention itself, and held in the Ramada bar on the Saturday night of the convention, directly after the Eagles. Last year we managed to fill out the bar with attendees (okay, maybe the bar was filled anyway) but the crowd for the awards was loud and proud, mainly also because we had the Eurovision Song Contest on. This year we won't have such a great group bonding warm up act, so we'll be going in cold. That said, we still don't have any categories, so we'd like you, the fan, the reader, the minion of ours to decide what we should be awarding for. Will we have 'scariest stalker' again? Will we have 'most innovative pimping' award? Will we have better ones – and more importantly, will you help us come up with them?

Answers and suggestions to itsonlyacomic@gmail.com.

So what else is there to talk about today? Ah yes, Budgie.

Lee 'Budgie' Barnet, better known as the brains behind Hypotheticals and the co-brains of The Kryptonite Factor has, over the last few years done a thing called the Fast Fiction Challenge. 200 word insta-stories right there on your screen. Basically, the rules are simple -

"Reply with a title (maximum of four words) about which you'd like me to write a fast fiction of exactly 200 words, together with a single word you want me to include in the text of the tale.

(Completely daft suggestions will be ignored, so no suggestions of "antidisestablishmentarianism" along with a title of "sex lives of cornflakes".)"

Now. Following the last couple of years, Budgie's discovered that this is the year of apathy, pretty much everywhere on the internet. And considering that he's had some pretty big comic names challenge him in the past years, he's got a long way to go for 2008. And so, I've decided to get him, well, a few more people to ask for stories.

And he's good. In the past he's done tales of horror, romance, sci fi and comedy as well as others. He's also done sonnets, limericks and other such things...

So. You want to see how a good writer works? Test him.

And tell him that I sent you.

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And we're done for another week. Next week we're into March, spring is in the air and shenanigans will ensue. And I'll be talking about comic strips, as in the three panel lines, like Peanuts or Calvin & Hobbes. If you have a favourite one, feel free to tell us on the forum, as linked below...

But until then – don't expect a reply. Because me? I'm on vacation...

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Discuss this column at the Only A Forum forum.
© 2008, Tony Lee

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