"The Roundabout Of Writing…"

By Tony Lee

So, you remember gentle reader, the beginning of the year when I stated quite boldly that 2007 was going to be my breakout year?

Well, I might have been a little wrong.

'But why?' I hear you ask. 'Master Tony, why would you do this to us? Why make us wait like this?'

Well, my little cherubs, it's not my fault. Let me explain. At the start of the year, I had two graphic novels coming out – Robin Hood – Outlaws Pride and the adaptation of Raven's Gate. Both of these have been delayed until 2008 due to various exciting book publisher reasons. I had a six part for another big name publisher, but five months on from the original pitch, we're still in development hell, waiting for a sign off. Dodge & Twist has found a home, but again, it'll most likely be a 2008 release. I have an absolute ton of work out there, but none of it is going to be out in time. So again, I'll be attending SDCC as the wannabe, the guy who's still trying desperately to leap out of the pack.

To be honest, it's not that much of a problem for me, as I've never written for fame and fortune. If I wanted that, I'd sure as hell be writing in a different genre. You want fame and fortune? As a writer? Write novels or screenplays. Write a blockbuster TV show. And even then you'll be famous to the people who like your genre. It's the nature of the beast. But me? I love writing for comics. I just enjoy every page I write. And, unlike other creators I know, I get a real buzz when one of my peers contacts me to let me know some amazing piece of news. Chuck Satterlee, the Director of Operations for Markosia has just had his comic, Of Bitter Souls optioned for television. Ryan Stegman, my compadre on Midnight Kiss is now doing The Magician's Apprentice for Dabel/Marvel. Every day I hear of other deals being made around me. Am I jealous? Really?

No.

Now I know you're reading that and saying 'I call bullshit'. And I'll admit there's some professional envy, but never jealousy. To many people, including myself, I've not made it in the industry. Apart from my creator owned stuff, I write Starship Troopers for Markosia, who's one of the middle sized publishers out there, but still unknown to many of the market. Starship Troopers regularly hits the top 300, but not the top 200, for example. I adapt for a book publisher, who's nothing to do with comics. I've been printed twice for Marvel, once every two years – and in total they're not enough pages to equal a comic. And I flutter about the edges, doing a Doctor Who story here, a Wallace & Gromit story there, etc.

But to others, I have made it, to an extent. I'm now at a position in my life where I get to write what I want and have a fair chance of getting it looked at by an editor. They might not publish it, but at least I have the 'chops' now to be taken seriously.

But there we hit my other problem. You see, I'm British. We never like to put someone out. We'll go out of our way to not do so, in fact. And I'm working in an industry where hassling an editor repeatedly is the norm. And I hate doing it. I hate sending emails to editors going 'Hi! Remember me? I just thought I'd email you and see if there's anything I could pitch for' or suchlike. I'm a Group Editor now for Markosia, and the week that followed the announcement, I had dozens of the bloody things turn up in my inbox. And we're a small company. I have no idea how many of these turn up in a day in the inbox of someone like Axel Alonso, Andy Schmidt, Shelly Bond or Jann Jones, the 'public' editors who's names are always out there. They must get hundreds.

And of course, I'm right in amongst those hundreds. It's a natural self-preserving fact of life. You need to make sure that you're at the forefront of their lives at the exact moment they have that She-Hulk / Guy Gardener crossover idea – so that immediately they email you and go 'wow! I was just thinking about you and then here we go'. So you pop by repeatedly, call or email. It's that simple. True, you never get work, but your mind blanks that. You are doing the right thing, it says. Now email them again. They may have missed your last five emails. And the roundabout of writing continues.

Now I, I hate this. And so I try not to do it. But you'll always find that 1am moment where you're hitting send, and being a Brit, emails are really the only option I have. Personally, I try to send emails only when I have something to say – for example to tell them all when I was promoted, if I have a project move schedules and open up some free time for me, or if I'm in a fetal position on the floor, crying into to my plushy Batman and wondering why I never went into accountancy, that sort of thing.

Occasionally I'll be cute. I once sent a Christmas Carol to Bob Schreck that was re-written to pretty much read 'Hire me'. It was very good. He even replied to say he liked it.

He never hired me, though.

The other problem is that these guys become friends over the time. And pimping for work becomes like begging some bucks off a mate. You always feel like the charity case. You don't want to intrude. But at the same time, you really need it, and they're your best hope. But they're still your friends. Bob is a prime example. I pitched him repeatedly, met him at conventions and over email conversations and over the years I like to think we've become friends. Not firm ones, but enough to hope that if I see him at a bar we'll buy each other drinks and talk shit to each other. I have Marvel editors that I respect and admire a hell of a lot, who I've been out for coffee or beers with, and still feel wary about emailing just to 'shoot the breeze' purely because I know that even though they'll read my email and reply, they'll still be thinking in the back of their head 'what does Lee want this time?'.

So, should I stop? Well, in a nutshell, no. Because I've sent emails to editors after a couple of months and they've gone 'I'm glad you emailed…'

I've learned things from editors in the conversations we've had, which I would only have learned by emailing them. But should I email them purely for work? Hell no. It hasn't worked for the last few years, why the hell should it start now?

No matter what you think, this is the truth. I went to Marvel and DC four years back with one goal. To get to look around the offices. Not only did I do that, but I got work and met some of the coolest guys in the industry.

So here's the honest fact. If I had the choice to pitch and get work from Marvel or DC but lose all friendships – or, I could keep the friends I have made and never work for DC or Marvel again?

I'd never pitch another idea to them again.

So this year I'm off to San Diego again. And to be honest, following on from the above piece, I almost decided not to, this year. Last year I had meetings all over the place – and so far not one of them has borne fruit. In fact, in a weird twist of fate, the only publisher I couldn't get to see is the only one that has moved on with a project. Which either means that a) I'm incredibly unlucky or that b) actually meeting me puts a publisher off me even more than an email from me.

Another problem for 2007 is that there won't be a Markosia booth, following last year's problems. And I don't expect to be nominated for any Eisners. So what do I do? Walk the floor?

Well, it looks like I will be on a booth, a collective one with my Creator Direct friends. It should be a blast as the people we have on the booth over the weekend include Kody 'Punks, Tag, 30 Days of Night' Chamberlain, Josh 'Punks, Elks Run' Fialkov, Rob 'Shortbus Superstars' Guillory, Chris 'Lost Squad' Kirby, Andy 'Marvel Team Up' Kuhn, Chris 'The Emissary' Long, Phil 'Green Arrow' Hester, Jason 'Postcards' Rodriguez and a possible few others. It'll be packed, but as ever I'll most likely be booth hopping with the Digital Webbing guys and having the occasional meeting – but unlike last year, I won't be killing myself. This year I'll be sleeping more, for a start. I'll also be spending more time in the bar. I might even go for a day in Mexico.

On a side note, I decided that Of Vengeance, my Pale Rider meets Twin Peaks revenge story by way of The Crow and The Da Vinci Code was dead in the water after a year of waiting for synchronicity to happen. So, I decided to write it as a novel.

4,000 words in, and I get a publisher offer to publish the 5 part series. Someone up there is laughing their bollocks off.

So what's happening these next couple of weeks in the world of Tony and Dan? Well, here's what's been happening in Dan's world…

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I awoke violently.

I had lost consciousness somewhere in the East wing of the Manor and had on inspection fashioned a crude nest out of a mixture of priceless tapestries, gin bottles and my own hair and spittle. It was evident from the gnawed carcasses of herons strewn about my primitive dwelling that I had been there for some time, possibly an hour.
Disorientated and filled with terror, the stench of my now corpse like body searing the hair from my engorged nostrils.

My ether encrusted eyes collapsed in undue pain from the shards of light shrieking through the moth eaten remnants of the curtains of which I had stolen from a poorhouse on one of my many jaunts to the Raj.

The light spoke to me, causing flashbacks of my imagined time in the trenches of the Somme.

"Blast! My cravat!" It shouted.

I clawed my wasted frame into the nearest corner, a battered copy of grouse and grousing the only shield against my man shame. The brightness shone in my eyes brightly and made me think how bright it was. A trickle of terror filled my crevice!

In desperation I flung my body for the nearest staircase, tumbling down like a carnival bearded lady and breaking my neck in three places.

The uncomfortable yet familiar feeling of my pockets being rifled through brought me stumbling back from the abyss in the manner more associated with the drunken cockersnape than a man of fancy.

"You're alive!" A voice shouted.

The braggart tones could only mean one thing. Count Woogie!

"My effervescent chum!" My voice rose to a soprano shriek as I sat on my left testicle.

"Gin?" Exclaimed the scurrilous swine.

I whimpered as a puppy such as the one I had repeatedly run down in the Winchester just two days before.

My day had begun.

That, dear proles was part of the incredibly exciting day of a freelancing lickspittle. Well, do pop in next time and I shall tell you the score when myself and the other chaps from the opium den take on those fellows from the crack house down the road in a friendly game of rounders. Chin, chin.

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I swear to God I don't write this. Thanks Dan. Now get yourself down to the club and have a gin on me, okay?
As for the rest of things, the Eagle Awards are now closed for nominating, and in two weeks we see who the five candidates in each category will be to vote for. Personally I see a landslide for DC this year, mainly for 52. But we'll see. I'd like to see Phonogram get a few noms. I'm not particularly fussed if I get nommed, to be honest – If I am, I'll of course tell the world – but I don't expect to win anything.

Of course, that doesn't mean that if you're not nominated, you won't be winning anything! For, after the Eagles have finished, Dan and I will be holding another set of awards – the Two Drunk Guys in a Bar GOLDEN CHAMPAGNE GLASS Awards! Nepotism will run rife as we give awards to people we like for whatever the hell reason we can concoct. Expect it to kick off on the Saturday night of the Bristol Convention around Midnight, following the Eagle awards. Categories so far include –

Lifetime Achievement Award
Favourite Convention Panel That Begins With A 'H'
Scariest Fan
Straightest Gay Man In Comics
Best Comic Villain Named Kieron Gillen

And much more.

More news as it comes.

Also next week Starship Troopers – Damaged Justice #2 should be out. We're seriously playing catchup here, and in two weeks after this Starship Troopers – Damaged Justice #3 will be out. With #4 and the ongoing issue #1 out in April, we should be on track by May. And talking of May, remember that if all goes well, we should have preview copies for sale at the Bristol Comic Con of the TPBs of Starship Troopers – Dead Man's Hand and Midnight Kiss. So save up your pennies.

Of course, there will be editors who will get free copies sent to them.

Hell, it beats another bloody email…

Tony Lee is the award-nominated writer of things including The Tizzle Sisters with G.P Taylor and Dan Boultwood, Starship Troopers, Doctor Who, X-Men, Wallace & Gromit and Robin Hood – Outlaw's Pride with Sam Hart. Michael Moorcock says that 'Tony Lee is one of the best story-tellers working in comics today'. He drinks, though. Tony's website is www.tonylee.co.uk. Feel free to email him and interrupt his day.

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© 2008, Tony Lee

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