Who's Who in the CBU 2008

Name: Regie Rigby

Regie is a strange, almost ethereal creature. Who can plumb the hidden mysteries of his dark and murky past - a past which contains a terrible secret. A secret that taught him that with great power comes great responsibility, that criminals are a cowardly superstitious lot and just who exactly knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men.

By day, he assumes the appearance of a mild mannered teacher, bringing the joy of literature and the English Language to classes of enthralled and enthusiastic students. But by night?

By night he goes home and writes lesson plans. Sorry. That's as interesting as he gets. Really.

The rumours about rooftop struggles with underworld uberfiends, the gossip about the hidden cave filled with hi-tec equipment and the suggestion that his car might be fitted with turbo lasers are all nonsense.

When he's not teaching he reads comics. Sometimes he combines the two activities. When he's not doing that he's either playing computer games or asleep.

At Variance

By Regie Rigby

So, here we are again!

Thanks for all the suggestions about weapons last week – both on the message boards and via e-mail. ‘Tis appreciated.

No Sunset chatter this week though. I nearly have a script I’m happy to show to people (like the artist) and stuff should be beginning to happen with that soon, but for now, it’s time to look at other things going on in Comics.

Have you read The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier yet? As you might have noticed, I’ve been a little distracted lately, and I confess I mostly missed the bru-ha-ha that has evindently been going on. I mean, I know that Northampton’s finest son has fallen out with DC big style again (still?), although the details have passed me by, but I had no idea that this eagerly awaited book (eagerly awaited by me at least) would be unavailable to people on this side of the Atlantic.

I’m sure there’s a very good reason for this. “Something to do with licensing and copyright” according to the ever helpful Darren at Destination Venus, my much beloved LCS*. Which again, is fine. Sort of.

Bloody annoying though. Here we have a comic about largely English characters, written by an Englishman, drawn by an Englishman, totally unavailable in Britain. Most frustrating!** Not that a man of my genius can’t get around such problems. “Not for Sale in the UK” it might be – but I have lots of contacts in the US, and so I also now have a copy of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier in my hot little hand.

A huge thanks to all concerned in getting it to me. You know I appreciate it.

I haven’t read it yet – it’s my Birthday in a couple of days and so I’m saving it ‘til then. So far I’ve merely gazed adoringly at the cover – something I’m obsessive enough to have done rather a lot since the book arrived. I was slightly astonished to discover that there would be a choice of covers for my adoring glance to fall upon.

Variant covers? On a hardback?!

Why?

I mean, I loathe variant covers in any event – about the only time I ever thought they were fun were the different coloured “extra” covers on Batman – Legends of the Dark Knight #1. (I got the pink one.) Otherwise they are a blatant, shameless and utterly cynical marketing ploy that represents everything that’s wrong with the Anglophone comics industry.***

Not that I feel strongly about this, you understand.

But a variant cover on a hardback is a whole new level of “what?!” I mean, this thing goes for $19.99 in the US. Now, I know that at the moment, with the current weakness of the yanqui dolla that’s only about thruppence ha’penny in real money, but it’s still a lot more than your average floppy. DC/Wildstorm don’t seriously expect that people will be buying multiple copies do they?****

So what else is the variant for?

Well, if I were feeling generous I suppose I might say that it could be because there were two designs that were so good they couldn’t choose between them. Kev O’Neil is a bit of a genius after all, so it’s not such an unreasonable proposition. The only problem with that is the fact that one cover is a glorious example of O’Neil at his dark and pulpy best, while the other is, well, a bit cack.***** I’m not putting the images in here, simply because every time I’ve tried to use images in the column lately I’ve cocked it up, but you should find them both easily enough online. See what I mean?******.

Perhaps it’s a sort of elaborate practical joke? Are they deliberately demonstrating the inherent silliness of the variant cover phenomenon? I didn’t check – is one version printed in greater numbers? Are they just trying to boost the collector market? If they are I can’t quite see why – I mean, what would DC/Wildstorm have to gain?

Most odd.

Or is it just me?

After all, if I really am so indifferent to the concept of cover variants, if all I really care about is the story contained between the covers is all I care about, why did I take time to consider which cover I wanted when offered the choice? Because I did think about it, and I do have a preference. Surely if I didn’t care I’d just have said “don’t worry about it, send whatever.”

Am I in fact, not merely a hypocrite, but a self-righteous hypocrite?

Well, possibly, although that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.

I dunno – how do you all feel about these things? Do you buy variant covers? Do you get as wound up by them as I do? In either event, why?

I think my real objection is just that variant covers remind me of the worst excesses of the early nineties, and they make me feel as though the publishers involved think we’re stupid.

Then again, perhaps we are?







*If anyone wants to try explaining it all to me, the message boards are at your disposal…

**Although the situation is not entirely unprecedented. For a while, Eddie Campbell was unable to get a copy of From Hell (also by Moore of course – maybe he’s a jinx!) in Australia because Aussie customs thought it was obscene. He must’ve been equally irritated.

***And yes, before you ask. There’ll be a variant cover on an issue of Sunset over my dead body.

****Well, alright. Some people will, and more will want to. But most won’t - because even if we’re stupid enough we’re not rich enough for that kind of thing.

*****I got them to send me the good version, obviously.

******Before you say it, I did consider the possibility that everyone else might like the cover I hate so much, and that I might be wrong. But I didn’t consider it for very long, because I’m not.