Marvel Top 10: Lamest Marvel CostumesA column article, Comics Bulletin Soapbox by: Kevin Powers
With the advent of Comics Bulletin comes Marvel True Believer Tuesdays! Marvel is an empire these days with a stake in every aspect of entertainment: film, television, animation, video games and of course, comic books. With over 5,000 characters and stories spanning 60 years, Marvel shows no signs of slowing down. There have been many great Marvel moments and many controversial Marvel moments over the years, but they continue to entertain. So with so many characters and so many stories, how does one rate the Top 10? The answer is simple, by categories. Every month on a Marvel True Believer Tuesday, Comics Bulletin will bring you a Marvel Top 10 list based on a specific category. Check it out below and let us know what you think. If you have any suggestions for future "Marvel Top 10" lists, email Kevin Powers at Kevin.firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Summers are the first family of Mutants and Mutant Space epics. This fact isn’t up for debate; check out the "Dark Phoenix Saga," "Rise and Fall of the Shi’Ar Empire" and Emperor Vulcan for the proof to that theory. But even in the far reaches of space, the only outfit former test pilot Christopher Summers could come up with was a bit questionable. While DC’s resident test pilot got a ring that can do anything, Corsair was left with the red leotard, a pistol and a buccaneer’s sword. Even Captain Jack Sparrow thought it was a bit queer.
9. Daredevil (Yellow):
Because there is nothing more frightening than a blind man, lurking in the shadows, dressed in bright yellow to strike fear into Hell’s Kitchen. Moon Knight admits that he wears white so his victims can see him coming, but Daredevil’s enemies could see him coming a mile away. At least Affleck wore the dark red. The giant “D” on the original outfit clearly stands for dumbass.
There were some people who were a little upset when Galactus turned out to be a giant cloud in 2007’s Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. At least the inside of the cloud gave a glimpse into something truly horrifying. But as for the “real” Galactus… I mean, blue and purple with a weird helmet doesn’t exactly scream “devourer of worlds.”
7. Doctor Bong:
Doctor Bong was a former rock music critic and former rock music performer but his “bong” was not what you think. This guy wore a giant bell for a helmet and had a large metal ball which were used to create sonic waves. I’m almost positive there are some alternative meanings to his name because he did turn Howard the Duck into a human. Speaking of seeing Howard the Duck… someone pass me Dr. Bong.
When you think of industrial espionage you think of blackmail, bribery, surveillance, hell, even Martha Stewart. Most times industrial espionage happens from the inside, double agent type stuff. But you would think an industrial spy with the skills to infiltrate Stark Industries and an arsenal powerful enough to take on Iron Man would have a costume that is a bit less obvious. "Rhodey, who is spying on us?" "I’ve narrowed it down to the Mandarin, Obadiah Stane and the guy in the blue and yellow outfit who was planting cameras in your office."
Why Arcade? He’s just a regular guy in a white suit and giant bow-tie. Sure, he does look totally menacing, but let’s face it, a real homicidal tech-nerd would be overweight and look something like Kevin Smith from Live Free or Die Hard, only a bit dirtier.
Looks like Big Bird on crack.
Not only were his powers of manipulating an extra dimensional energy source known as the “Darkforce” really lame, but the really bad rip off of Electro’s outfit lands this guy in the top 3.
2. Captain Ultra:
Sure, he’s been appearing in the latest story-arc of Iron Man with a different look and leading the Nebraska Initiative team, but this outfit looks like it was designed by Daredevil. Aside from being a rather obscure rip-off of Superman, Captain Ultra definitely knew how to put together an outfit that doesn’t match.
1. Baron Zemo:
Nothing screams menacing Nazi psychopath like purple and white cheetah fur. Baron Zemo, a menacing individual, who confined Captain America to the icy depths and left Bucky for the Soviets to brainwash, may forever hold this title. Not only is this the lamest costume in Marvel, but all of comics.